Last night, I heeded Jared’s call for solitude. God had much to say while I sat in the darkness of my mother’s sun room. In radiant flashes of white, the sky lit up over and over as a thunderstorm raged. The flashes were blinding, and I figured that’s the color Jesus must have been after he was transfigured on a mountain top. I turned my face away, understanding my unworthiness to even have a glimpse of His presence. And that reminded me of Evan’s comments, how grappling with our utter depravity, while painful, is the only way we grow into the transformed believers Jesus intends us to be.
So my thoughts meandered back to House Church earlier that day. The spirit was most definitely present at House Church yesterday. All of our hearts were yearning for transformation, for God, and they were yearning together. I could feel it. When our hearts yearn collectively, all at once, for the Presence, for Holiness, for Transformation, I can’t help but think God shows up with power.
Honestly, my faith is weak. It really is. But days like yesterday strengthen me. It struck me yesterday, at a very specific moment, that I had joy and peace all of a sudden. Chase has shared today that he felt the same way. I was messing around on Evan’s guitar, Jared and Greg were doing something ridiculous with Sydney’s baby dolls (no it wasn’t inappropriate), Evan, Chase, and Brenton were telling stories, Mason was crawling all over Chase, Asher was playing with trains, and the girls were huddled around the table laughing loudly. B.J. and Amy were missed, but we held them up in conversation often, eager to hear about Wayne County cemetary meetings and rendezvous with old friends. Jeremy was missed, but we know he’s really with us, and we prayed for his safe return soon. Events like this happen all the time, but the joy and peace that I experienced with these events yesterday was a result of the learning, praying, and meditating that had occurred just before while we were praying and studying together. Spiritual disciplines help us see the world anew, through God’s reality. What once was a ho-hum day becomes a spirit-filled, full-life moment.
After the solitude I had last night, my glimpse of the transfiguration colored sky, I awoke this morning with a quiet hope that my faith is strengthening again. Waking up, I felt like today was a new day and not just another day. But this new found hope did not happen spontaneously. It was the result of engaging in the disciplines the night before while in solitude. Spiritual disciplines help us see the world anew, through God’s reality. What once was another morning is now a prayer of praise, a church service of sorts, joy for the miracle a new daylight.
Though it was the second time I read the book, Dallas Willard’s Spirit of the Disciplines has again had a profound impact on me. It thrills me to think that we will be walking together in openness, adventure, and reflection through a renewed effort to engage in the disciplines and thus transform ourselves, slowly, slowly, slowly, then all of a sudden, into new creations. And I truly thank God that I stumbled across this little House Church, even though I feel unworthy of it too.
I close with several four star passages from Willard: “The astonishing human power to use what is beyond ourselves is the main clue to who and what we are.”
“As an ineffable mystery, the House Church shall learn in its own experience who He is.” And we shall “eat of the hidden manna.”
So, so, so good, Brandon. Thank you.